9 Things I Shouldn't Have To Deal With As An Infertile

It seems unfair that while going through my daily life not only do I have to deal with normal day-to-day crappy things that everyone must endure but I must simultaneously (and might I add incessantly) deal with the fact that I am infertile, childless, damaged, etc. So I have decided to make a list of things that I feel I should not have to deal with as an infertile. Enjoy.

1. Cramps. Cramps only add insult to injury when every month my period is a reminder that I am not pregnant (again!!). I can deal with the tampons/pads etc., what I cannot deal with is the fact that I have to be in undeniable pain for at least the first 24 hours of said period. At this point in my infertility story, I understand that month after month, AF will undoubtedly rear her ugly head and I will be disappointed, but the cramps are just a slap in the face!

2. Work. I manage a clothing store where our target customer is age 18-25, which also happens to be the prime age for baby making (except in my case of course). So on a daily basis, I get to help pregnant teens and newlyweds find clothes to fit over their new baby bumps. The excessive number of pregnant teens I see in my store every day convinces me that this world makes no damn sense. Then there are the women complaining about how they’re fat and sick and their feet are swollen because of their pregnancy (it's so tough and they're so tired). And all the while I have to sit there and help them find things to make them feel better about their awful circumstance.  (Now you probably understand why I’m working on a career change). Therefore I think I should be able to collect some kind of unemployment/disability pay on the grounds of infertility.

3. The flu/any common cold. Every time I have a sniffle or a bout of nausea after ovulation I assume (pray) that it is an early pregnancy symptom. I obsess over every sore throat, every stomach rumble, every headache until the moment when AF comes. It is simply unfair to have to be tricked by my own body into believing some kind of miracle has occurred and I am suddenly pregnant. Not to mention the fact that using a sick day from work because of a cold makes me want to scream when I would much rather use a sick day when I’m having a nervous breakdown over infertility.

4. Jury duty. Any mother who is suspected of harming her child, being neglectful, being selfish, child endangerment…they’re all guilty in my mind. (I should add that I believe any parent who has committed a crime has endangered the welfare of their child). Do they ask as a part of weeding out possible jurors whether or not you’re hopped up on infertility meds and a crazy, emotional biotch?? Enough said.

5. In-laws. Some IFs out there may have amazing, supportive, loving in-laws...so happy for you!!! My in-laws, unfortunately, are the epitomy of unsupportive, negative, hateful, ignorant (getting the picture?). It has been made quite clear to me that my husband and I will never get the kind of love from them that we deserve, and yet we still find ourselves hurt by them when they’re unsupportive. My MIL loves to kick me while I’m down, and because I’m already at my worst, I am unable to respond in a rational manner. So it is just best that I not have to deal with my in-laws while I continue to be infertile. And if that is forever, so be it ;)

6. Speeding tickets. Police officers, I assume, are not trained to deal with infertile women who are overly emotional due to IF meds or right after a BFN. I can’t promise that when being pulled over I will not burst out into tears and, when the officer is less than sympathetic, end up being arrested for assault. What if I am speeding because I am on the way to an IUI with a vial of my husband’s best sperm in my bra?? We just can’t have that.

7. Waiting in the same waiting room with all the pregnant women at the OB. THERE SHOULD BE A SEPARATE WAITING ROOM FOR INFERTILES!!!!! Why should I have to sit there while they muse over their sonogram photos of their “little peanut” with their entire family??? Is it not enough that I’m having to get a sonogram (which for an infertile consists of a wand up your hooha) with only pictures of my creepy looking ovaries and zero baby, but now I have to sit here and listen to how excited your are about your pregnancy? Are you f-ing kidding me????? It’s not their fault, and when it is finally my turn I will be right there just as (if not more) excited to see my little nugget, but hello doctors, a little sensitivity please!! The time I had to wait in the waiting room for my second IUI with a girl that I went to high school with (who had been married for a month) and was pregnant was unbearable.

8. Movies who’s storylines include a surprise pregnancy. A LITTLE BIT OF WARNING WOULD BE NICE! I go to the movies to forget about my problems, have a laugh, and enjoy myself. Then BAM a surprise pregnancy! They’re always so surprised and upset, “what am I going to do??” Even the movies recently that include ART are not about infertiles per say but about women who have no found the right mate and choose insemination. It’s not enough that every time I turn around another celebrity is pregnant, but they’re playing pregnant women in the movies as well! Someone posted on another website, “Didn’t you know? Celebs have better boobs and better eggs. Just a fact.”

9. Wrinkles. I understand wrinkles come from stressing over your children, so no children, no wrinkles right?? It seems to me that it would only fair if I never have children that I should get to look young forever. Then when women look at me with that pity in their eyes saying, "Oh, that's Kendra, she's barren, poor thing" it will be followed by the exclamation, "she sure does look good though!!!!" Plus it is unfair to have to spend so much money on "elective" IF procedures and still end up having to pay some doctor for botox or, God forbid, a face lift.