Still Standing Firm

I'm still a little afraid that I will regret the decision I have made to go rogue and not start the infertility drugs again, but I am standing firm in my resolve. After a lot of tears and even more prayer, I really feel that it is the right thing for me to do. I feel bad mostly for my husband. Here is how our journey has been: He wanted to start trying to have a baby, I wasn't ready. Then I was ready, it was fun for a few months and then I began to panic. All of our friends were getting pregnant and we weren't. So then we started trying all of the natural things to improve infertility. They didn't work. So then we started with the doctors. Clomid made me crazy, and my husband had to deal. I decided that we needed to see a new doctor and he agreed. NOW I decided that I don't want to do it anymore. It makes me feel so selfish. The thing is though that it is my body, therefore my decision. It is me that has to go to work hopped up on hormones and crazy and still deal with coworkers, employees and customers. We haven't really discussed much more than just that we aren't starting Femera this month. I think he doubts my resolve and believes that I will change my mind when the time comes.