Thirty Months

I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Thirty months and I'm still barren
Picked all my weeds but still no flowers
But I know it's never really over

And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Thirty months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Thirty months and I'm still standing here
Thirty months and I'm getting better yet
Thirty months and I still am

Thirty months and it's still harder on me
Thirty months I've been living here without you now
Thirty months, thirty months

Thirty months and I'm still breathing
Thirty months and I still remember it
Thirty months and I wake up

Thirty months and I'm still barren
Picked all my weeds but still no flowers


(Kelly Clarkson's lyrics about recovery from addiction with my own little touches of IF)