Per my husband and my agreement, I was to be under no stress for any reason during the month of October. If there was something that he thought may stress me out, he was to couch it until next month. I took six days off from work during the time I was scheduled to ovulate. I thought it would be a good idea to have a big support system this month and I strongly believe in the power of prayer, so I told my closest friends what we were doing. One friend even posted on her facebook for others to pray for us. I felt very loved and like this month I was not alone. My doctor instructed me that I was to take an OPK every day starting day 10. Once I got a positive I was to call them and we would do the IUI the next day. I was soooo afraid that I would get a positive on a Friday and it would be too late by Monday. But luckaly, we got our positive on a Sunday (cd15). On Monday morning, I called the doctor. They told me that we needed to be at the lab at 3pm to give a sample. The lab would spin it and pass it off to us to bring to the doctor. They said not to wait in the waiting room and that they would send us right back. My husband and I got all ready, went to a nice lunch, and headed to the lab. I could tell he was nervous. He gave the sample, we waited for an hour. They called us back and the woman gave me the sample to put in my bra so it would stay body temperature. And we rushed over to the doctor's office. When we got there, they told us to wait in the waiting room, which of course irritated me. Then they finally took me back, my husband stayed in the waiting room. I undressed from the waist down and layed on this weird chair/table that could raise and lower my lower half. The doctor and nurse came in and explained what would happen. The doctor said that my husband's sample had 9million good sperm! To the fertile person, that sounds like a lot, but you and I know that its not great. But all we needed was one!! At first it just felt like a pap smear. But then came the catheter and some intense cramping. It wasn't that it was painful as much as extremely uncomfortable. It seemed to take forever! Once it was done, they brought my husband in. He held my hand and we prayed together. I got to lay there for about 15 minutes and then got dressed again. I felt pretty crappy. I went home and layed in bed. I layed in bed for the rest of that day and all day Tuesday. I ate tons of food, all healthy of course. I relaxed. My husband had taken such good care of me all month. On Tuesday I ovulated. I knew that all we needed was just for that egg to attach and we would be pregnant. I treated my body like I was pregnant for the rest of the month. I went back and forth between being hopeful and cynnical, but stayed mostly hopeful. I started using my progesterone cream at 2dpo just to make sure my levels stayed high! Then on 3dpo I started to feel EXTREMELY constipated (sorry TMI I know). I looked it up, and constipation is an early pregnancy symptom! Hopeful. I felt bloated, nauseous, achy, tired, hungry, irritable. I just knew I was pregnant. I felt pregnant. On November 1st (13dpo), I took an hpt. It was negative. After twenty months of negatives being negatives, I now believe a negative. I held out a little bit of hope for two more days, but November 4th (16dpo), I started spotting. I knew it was once again, all over. I was beyond devastated. I was crushed in every ounce of my being. Plus I had told so many people we were having this procedure done, that I didn't want them to be disappointed too. It looked like I would be ending another month with margaritas and tears. The most cruel part of all of it is that at the end of the month, if you aren't pregnant, you get to have cramps and acne. Insult to injury.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Provers 13:12
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