Its Not About Me, but Its All About Me

I have said before that when I was younger I felt like because of my childhood struggles, nothing else bad could ever happen to me. Like everyone on earth gets one bad thing that happens to them, but thats all that God allows. Well I know now that I was wrong! So then what do you do with the knowledge that multiple bad things can happen to you? I'm struggling with alot of fear at this realization. So maybe my childhood prepared me for this. I prayed for strength every day and maybe this is just a test of the strength God gave me. But if this is true, my fear is that this is just preparing me for the next battle in life. Like there is something much worse than this coming and God is making sure that I will be strong enough. My church tells me that sometimes God has to do something to you to change something in you to do something through you. I have prayed from a very young age that God would use me. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to help others. I think everyone wants that, but I begged for it. The Bible says that sometimes God will afflict you with something and even if you pray and do everything you are supposed to, His answer to your prayers will be no. This is not meant to be cruel, but to humble you. My mom is convinced that I am going through this so that I can help others, which is why I started this blog. She also is convinced that I will have a child and that I just have to be patient. As much as I love her and I want to believe in the hope that she speaks, I feel that I have been patient. I've had TWENTY MONTHS of patience. I pray that God's grace will be sufficient for me and that His strength will be made perfect in my weakness. 2 Corinthians 7:9

I prayed to the Lord and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4